oraldiarrhea:

hatos:

What if birds had four legs? Need answer

image

(via throatcvtter)

penandpage:

itssexualhour:

so my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying the other day and we did the whole “professor and bad student who needs to pass” thing, only he wanted to be the professor, so I had to be the horny and failing student. I’m the valedictorian of my senior class of 400 and I have a horrible phobia of flunking, so when he whispered “you’re failing my class, you naughty girl” in my ear, I started crying and we had to stop

(via touch-all-the-butts)

michaxl:

dilclo:

michaxl:

why am i not a disney princess

because ur a 15 year old boy

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(via falloutboring)

rupindeer:

I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people

(via behindthecea)

ju-ke:

i’m tasteless but so is water and we all need that

(Source: neptunain, via a-lumpy-timelord)

neptunain:

"Are u ok?" "Im just tired"

T alkin about seinfeld
I nterested in briefcases
R eally sick of income tax
E ntering the puppet demsion
D og

"…yea just tired"

(via the-legs-of-bow)

cadburycreamcoolator:

let-it-fucking-be:

cadburycreamcoolator:

american people who use british slang

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We just want to be one of you and watch BBC on the telly and drink tea and ride the trolley :)

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(via ftwin-chester)

trigger-incoming:

This website is like a suicide hotline but with text chat instead.  I would appreciate it if you guys helped spread the word.

(via infinite-hate)

youaremynirvana:

hoelita:

female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away

same

(Source: babefield, via wal-kingtrav-esty)